


Crying on my Bathroom Floor at 8:42

by Toxic_clockwork



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, Body Horror, Canon Typical Horror, Depersonalization, Minor Violence, No beta we kayak like Tim, alcohol use, canon typical insanity, no beta we die like men, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toxic_clockwork/pseuds/Toxic_clockwork
Summary: Jane’s slip into madness was gradual, but there could have been points to where she know what was happening. That was the scariest parts.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	Crying on my Bathroom Floor at 8:42

**Author's Note:**

> So i kinda had a mental breakdown so i wanted to write a kin vent. That’s all this really is and it probably is incoherent but I want to post it

Jane’s footing stumbled under her even without a drop of alcohol in her system. Her mind buzzed by the hustle and bustle of thoughts and emotions trying to take the fastest track to her consciousness. The fog that covered her eyes, making them feel like she can't even see, was humid with tears blinding her to most of her mind.

The wet spots on her shirt grew larger as she shuffled about her flat, not necessarily having anywhere she wanted to be. Did she even feel the tear breaking the damn of her eyes and flooding her cheeks? The open scabs on her face stung from the streams and instinctively her hands went up to scratch the soars.

Her nails had become useless weeks ago, chewed to them down to the fingertips. But the incessant scratching dug deeper into her flesh, numbing the pain of the salt and comfortably replacing it with the mindless action. Pain still radiated from them but now it was slightly controlled. It was slowly overwhelming Jane, the buzzing wouldn’t let her free. Her sobs only became more helpless.

With each bump of the table corners her hips ached, bruises will definitely decorate them with their plum and ocher. The blooms had become more easy to predict and much more frequent. Any more than a comfortable jab into Jane’s side or dropping to her knees too hard at work will make them heavily decorated. 

She didn’t even notice she was in her kitchen until she was gripping at a wine bottle she has been saving for a special occasion in her shaking hands. Somehow the cork was ripped from the bottle and was nestled in between her teeth. It dropped haphazardly, she can worry about that later when she was drunk.

Her hands shook as she brought the lip of the bottle to hers. Jane wasn't a wine fan but she was out of her hard liquor and it was a gift from her mother when she first moved out. 

A chuckle escaped her lips as she thought about those memories. She was fresh into university, she has her stable job she liked well enough, her practice was fulfilling her. Life was so much easier, her friend and her family around her. 

She loved, loved her family, friends and her life in general. She was making her way through uni with relative ease, but then she felt the buzzing. The hive had taken it’s plot in her attic without her even noticing, but its humms rang into her. 

The hollow feeling that regularly calls her chest its home began to vibrate as she looked into the nest for the first time. It swelled and overflowed with a feeling she hadn’t truly felt in years. Bubbles of joy and bliss mixed together with fear and mortification created an intoxicating cocktail. 

The bitter flavor that clung to her lips and the brim of the bottle could hardly compare to the high she first felt. Her vision began to curl and wiggle as the booze had become to take its effect. She was feeling herself again.

With a shaken start she tried to make her way to her bathroom, leaving the bottle on the counter. Focusing on her steps she had her hand slid on the wall keeping her balance. Yet, looking over she felt her stomach churn. The scabs that littered then were shocking to her, the clusters of dried sanguine almost made her gag. 

Flipping on the light in her bathroom she was able to see her face. Or well… what was left.

The fleighting parts of her sanity wanted to scream, to destroy her vocal cowards and yell her heart out. She wanted to find help, hire an exterminator and find out what was happening to her. 

Her hands clutched to the edge of her sink as she stared into the reflection staring back at her. She could barely keep eye contact with herself, her eyes didn't even look the same as what she once was.

The buzzing was back in her mind, she needed more alcohol, she had to fight it off. She has only just regained herself and she didn’t want that moment just to be her staring at the husk of a woman she once was. Static prickled at her ears, she tried to punch away from the skin to clutch the bottle again but her feet curled together.

When Jane hit the ground, she hit it hard. Her arms didn't come out to catch her, her knees didn’t buckle to try to pad her fall. She just sent straight down and knocked her chin against the hardwood flooring of the hallway.

Sobs bellowed out from the slightly unconscious girl. A tooth definitely was chipped. She wouldn’t feel it of course, but the small off white chunk across the hall was a pretty good giveaway. 

Jane couldn’t tell what she was crying for. Was it what she saw she had become? Was it the pain that all she had once loved was picked away and all she was was herself? That idea felt wrong to her, she didn't feel at all alone, even now crying on her bathroom floor. Something was watching her and was making sure she wasn’t going to do something entirely dangerous. At least that's what she hoped. 

Blood pooled from her lip that she must have bit down on in the fall, but she didn’t feel a thing. Gods she wished she felt the pain of taking a chunk out of her lip, she wished the blood that stained the birch tasted like something. The cloudy mess of the hornets took over her brain again. 

Internally she shrieked, clawing at any sense of self she has left inside her mind. Again, tears rained down her face but the body barely reacted. It almost felt like they weren’t there but the soars began to sting and the body marched itself up to the attic.

Jane had no clue what was happening, but all she could do is scream. 


End file.
